08.21.08
I’m Kind of a Sell Out
I have been thinking about this post for about a month and a half now and I’m still not sure exactly how to say it. Basically - I sold out. Sort of. I left the public defender’s office for private practice. BUT it is still criminal defense and my heart is still in the same place. I was not looking to leave the public defender’s office at all. But a judge, of his own accord, passed my name onto a well-known private attorney in solo practice who was looking for an associate. He offered me a job and my world was thrown into turmoil for a few weeks while I wrestled with whether I should leave my beloved job as a PD for an opportunity to do the same kind of work for a different kind of paycheck and a different kind of client. Ultimately, I decided that it was an opportunity that I should not pass up, for many reasons.
I went back yesterday and read the interview I did on Monday Musings last year. I said that I had found the job I was supposed to do, that I couldn’t shake the part of me that gravitates towards the poor. And my heart still aches to think about that. I wanted to use my skill and my soul and my position as someone lucky enough to have a phenomenal education to serve those that were not as privileged as I was. But in the last month, I have worked on cases that I was not getting the opportunity to tackle when I was a public defender, after being passed over for a position to handle superior court cases. I have already written and filed a brief with the Supreme Judicial Court. I’m getting to delve into the law more than I was before, when so much of my time was occupied with triage as a result of too many cases. I’m working longer hours, but my commute has shortened considerably and my paycheck has grown comfortably.
I do mourn the loss of the public defender camaraderie. It is not the same to be a private criminal defense attorney and I know this. There is something special about people who choose to pursue the life of a PD and I thought that I was going to be a part of that for as long as I could. But it’s been a period of a lot of changes and a lot of transitions in my life and I am embracing this particular one. I still feel like I am fighting the good fight.
I still have the urge in me to write, so stay tuned for the future of the blog. I don’t know where it is headed, but I like it being here.
Pip said,
August 21, 2008 at 11:56 am
If a Judge passed your name on unsolicited, it’s a sign that you are supposed to move on to something bigger and better. In my time in retail I’ve worked hard to develop my associates and keyholders and I’ve always told them that if someone is leaving to move on to better things then that is a good thing.
You’ll be able to do more good here and you’ll put yourself into a position that will allow you to donate more of your time/expertise.
Congrats.
Susan Cartier Liebel said,
August 21, 2008 at 2:54 pm
You’re not selling out. Your skill set is enhanced having worked both sides of the bar and that makes your ability to effectuate change and benefit your clients much greater.
However, make sure you learn how to generate business on your own because while the government offers a safety net of sorts, private practice does not. You are your own security and be sure to develop yourself as a professional from every dimension because you don’t know when you may be cut loose for reasons beyond your control.
But, no, you are not selling out
Donzell said,
August 21, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Pish-posh. You are not a sell out. Your heart is in the right place and you are still doing criminal defense. Enjoy private practice, and enjoy your new chapter in your professional career.
Doug said,
September 4, 2008 at 1:08 pm
You can help poorer people if you are not spending time helping yourself. In other words, get paid then help people. It’s not a bad thing.